Sadness
While those around me are continuing with what they were doing before, my heart is moving occasionally out of shock and paralysis. Waves of anger and sadness wash over me. To think about what is happening in Lebanon is to grieve.
If only I could do more- I wrote a letter to my senator, but feel powerless and exploited in general. The government seems to be deaf. Over everything there is a sense of unreality. Can the bombing really still be going on? Can people really be in support of this? Why isn't there more of an outcry? Is America blind to its own self-interest and that of its citizens? Where is justice?
Next to me in the line to get off the boat in Cyprus was a family of four, husband, wife and two kids. They had been visiting family in Beirut, and were fixing up an apartment in the suburbs south of the city. They got a stove, a fridge, etc., and had them installed. The apartment and appliances are now dust. Meanwhile, the parents of the wife were both serious ailing, but she hadn't spent much time with them yet because of the work on the apartment. She doubts she will see them again.
My seatmate on the way from Cyprus to Amman was Imad, from a village in the south. He'd escorted his wife and four daughters on the British evacuation because he is the only one with foreign citizenship, and they were safely in London. However he was returning to Beirut by land in order to be with his parents. He apologized for his beard and emphasized that he was not a member of Hezbollah, but simply hadn't been able to shave. He was sure the airline staff had been looking at him funny because of the beard. I told him he shouldn't worry, there were lots of people with beards who weren't connected with Hezbollah. We talked quite a bit, and he helped me on arrival in Amman, but he disappeared before I could take a picture of him.
I'm thinking about my professors at AUB, who lived in the southern part of the city and couldn't make it in after the first night of bombing. Where are they now, and are they able to get supplies? I'm thinking about the cafeteria workers who also didn't appear, and all the students and their families.
One of my friend's roommates in the dorm was from Sidon. She couldn't go home because the road was hit right away. She was stuck in the dorm far away from family. I couldn't help being sad for her, especially since she was Palestinian. I can't find a word to describe this double tragedy. There were more students in similar situations, including one who was an ardent Hezbollah supporter. She was very articulate and approachable, and seemed full of confidence about the fight Hezbollah would put up; but she was suffering from the same anxiety as everyone else.
I read an article yesterday about the destroyed villages in the south of Lebanon. The reporter remarked that the man he interviewed "claimed not to care whether he lived or died", but was showing signs of constant anxiety. I don't believe it was an empty claim- even if you are ready to die, and even feel mentally calm, your body and behavior cannot remain unaffected by the threat of calamity. My thoughts are with those who are still there, so many with the additional trauma of fleeing their homes with no warning. May there be an end to all this soon...
posted by Goldberry @ 5:18 AM
6 Comments:
Ellis, I am calling all my praying partners for your sanity and safety. There are a lot of us praying for all of you out there - I will be specific to name all the people you mentioned in this journal as well as "Peace of Israel". I don't know how you feel about that. As of this writing I pray within my spirit to commune with The Holy Spirit to fight for your safety. Don't lose hope. As long as there is breath in you - there is hope.
May the Spirit of the Lord give you peace and His Ray of Light shine upon you. As always.
Ruzil
My dear sister in Carmel,
Peace be with you. You ask why there is no outcry at the injustice. I'm sure that there are many, many reasons. But here is one thought:
Many years ago when I was in college, I heard a quote that went something like, "To see two sides of a situation equally renders one unable to move." I suspect that such a paralysis is affecting many average U.S. citizens.
Most Americans only know what's going on through the news outlets, not through knowing anyone personally in the situation. On the news in the U.S., we read about, on the one hand, the terrible destruction in Lebanon and, on the other hand, about the fact that Hezbollah fired over 200 missiles at Israel today. Last week, or maybe the week before, a top-ranking Iranian official was reported as saying that this conflict was simply the first step in a jihad to spread Islam across the Mediterranean from Iraq to Spain.
Many people are moved by the terrible suffering of the innocent on both sides of the conflict; frustrated by the destruction in Lebanon and yet fearful of what might happen if Hezbollah is allowed to go unchecked. And so, they don't know what to do, which side to support.
I, as the pope has urged us, am praying for an immediate cease-fire as a prelude to a long-lasting solution that brings justice to all sides. I have also written my representatives urging them to support an immediate ceasefire. But I am becoming more and more convinced that no political solution will solve this problem. It is ultimately a spiritual battle and needs to be fought by spiritual means. The pope recognized this when, two weeks ago, he called for a day of prayer and fasting for an end to the conflict. But it's going to take much more than one day. Prayer, fasting, and sacrifice are going to have to become a lifestyle for Christians in order for true peace to prevail in the Middle East and throughout the world.
As you unite your sufferings, both those you've experienced firsthand and the anguish you're experiencing for those you know, with the sufferings of Christ, grace will be released in ways that we may only know about in Heaven. Meanwhile, remember that in the crest of our order, Mount Carmel is surmounted by the cross. For Mount Carmel--the mount we climb to seek union with God--and Mount Calvary are the same. And, as all the saints, especially those of our order, have said, union with Christ must ultimately pass through the cross. "If we die with the Lord, we shall live with the Lord, and if we endure with the Lord, we shall reign with the Lord."
Love and prayers in our Lord and Lady,
Theresa
The man working the cash register at the gas station yesterday also has a brother who went back home and now can't get out.
I can love my country - and yet disagree strongly with its policy. I can love my ally - and yet disagree strongly with its policy. I can hate what a terrorist organization does, and yet see that there are practical, non-religious reasons for why it exists. If only it were easier to change those reasons.
Over millennia, the Middle East has been a war zone. We cannot send a Henry Kissinger or a Condi Rice and "fix it all up". But we can work toward not hating, toward peace - and pray for change in those who want empire - whichever side they are on.
Thanks for all the prayers. They are so badly needed.
Indeed, I don't wish harm to the Israelis either- I just wish they would wake up and see what they are really doing. This destruction and carnage will not improve their situation at all, it will only cause more hatred. Support for Hezbollah is growing exponentially because of all the innocent people being targeted, and the sense among Arab nations of resisting a bully.
Israel is trying to use force to get its way, instead of diplomacy; and this is a dead-end road, or rather one leading off the edge of a cliff. I do blame Hezbollah for beginning this chain of events. They are firing at innocent people as well, and they have dirty hands from the past. But what is really the best way to stop them? Not this. This kind of cruelty and selfishness ignores the good will of most in Lebanon, including most in the government. It is irrational and as so many have said, disproportionate. That is what is at issue, not whether a return of aggression was warranted in principle.
Thanks for your balanced approach, Theresa. I think the news in the U.S. is not necessarily a clear reflection of the crisis. Not only is Israel targeting Lebanon in general (not just Hezbollah) but they have deliberately killed UN workers and hit ambulances. How this contributes to defence is truly a mystery.
If anyone is interested in up-to-date and factual info from Lebanon, you can visit www.naharnet.com.
Love to all!
Sister Theresa has expressed so many of my thoughts so well that I have little left to say.
Truly, I don't understand how Israel can justify what it is doing in Lebanon. Yet at the same time, I can understand why they feel a strong, military response is necessary. Israel is such a tiny country, completely surrounded by outright enemies or uneasy allies. It's fighting for its life, against enemies who cannot be reasoned with and who believe that any cruelty or death they cause in this struggle will earn them access to heaven.
Wednesday in downtown Salt Lake City, I saw two groups of people peacefully carrying placards, with police watchfully keeping them apart. One, the larger, favored ceasefire and appeared to hold Israel largely responsible; the other, smaller group, had signs like one with a large blue star of David saying, "Israel Stand Strong".
And Thursday, with the news of an Al Qaeda-linked plan to bring liquid explosives onto airliners, memories of 9-11 are being refreshed, and Americans are feeling less and less sympathy for Hzbullah, and more and more sympathy for Israel.
That, and the unfortunate fact that nobody can force the two sides to stop fighting (remember Somalia?) are the reasons why Americans aren't doing anything more.
Teresa, you're quite right that this is a spiritual conflict. I get quite discouraged and depressed about this conflict, and have to keep reminding myself that victory has already been won by Him who died to save us all, Who will come in glory and triumph on the appointed day.
All glory to Him! Amen, and Amen.
On one level I can agree that this is a spiritual conflict; but not if that implies that there is nothing we can do about it. These events were not inevitable.
I think it's a myth that a strong military response will help Israel. They are acting out of fear and pride; and their chances for future peace are going down the drain. If they would make an effort to treat other peoples with respect, chances would be higher. However brutality and occupation are generally what lead to suicide bombings inside Israel, not to mention the reservoir of ill-will.
Yes, it is more complicated than this, and I am not defending the actions of Hezbollah- I am attempting to explain the connections. Hezbollah's folly is self-evident, whatever their trigger was- Iran, the violence in the West Bank, etc.
An example that comes to mind is this: if Mexico had guerillas who captured some U.S. soldiers, and all South America and Canada pretty much stood together against the U.S., would we immediately destroy all bridges in the country, render most roads impassable, and bomb residential areas? I hope not. Of course Israel is smaller and its situation precarious; and for that reason it should be more careful, not less.
Post a Comment
<< Home